It’s been more than a month since I last wrote. Summer has a way of stealing my time. And while I do feel bad for not writing, I feel more bad for not knowing what to write about. There’s just so much and so less drama that has happened into my life recently and for the most part I didn’t go to my usually zone of sitting down and writing my bitterness, self-doubt, frustration, and anger away. You might think I’m maturing but I think I’ve just let life run it’s course, choose to accept it and deal with the blows of living. But then again, I’ve gotten into the big 3-0 a few weeks ago and have come to the realization that as much as being 30 seems ancient and intimidating there was really no point in being anxious.

But then there is also a part of me that has acquired a new habit. Running. Emotionally I have always been good at evasion and running away. I find it easy to retreat and hide in the comfort of the walls I've put up. But then I realize, instead of emotionally running away I can physically run away. And so that's what I have been doing, running, literally. And also power walking if my shins are still in pain from the previous day's run.

So lately, instead of letting my mind blaze and my fingers marathon on my computer's keyboard I lace my running shoes and hit the road.

At least out there no one is calling me names, talking behind my back, judging my looks, discriminating my color or race, telling me I'm fat. Neither is anyone basing my substance on how much I earn or how many dollars is in my bank account. It doesn't make it easier for me to run if I try to be polite or dress sexier. I do not have to worry about staying in the country or pleasing a boss. I do not have to be uncomfortable just because I am in a foul mood. I do not have to be self-conscious of my age, gender, disabilities, shortcomings, previous failures. I do not have to consider the possibility of heartbreak. There is no fear to overcome, not even failure. Because out there when I conquer the road there is no mind games, no rules to play with, and no rules to be broken. It's just me and the road and my playlist that is like a background music to the love affair.

Whatever I did before, whatever I can't do, whatever I lack, whatever I fail to do, whatever I aspire to do, whatever I've successfully done, whatever I am now... The road doesn't care. It doesn't. All it cares about is putting my foot forward, making the step, keeping my stride, moving forward.

When my lungs and legs are in pain. When my mind has muted the worries and stresses in my head and all I feel is the physical pain. When I put up my feet to rest it, I smile. The road has delivered. And tomorrow if not the day after I will come out for more to be with the road and continue the unfaltering relationship we have begun.