Last year, before B and I were “In a Relationship” (hello, Facebook) I was teasing him about his bad luck with women and suggested that he start having a screening process especially an application form. Eventually the conversation turned to his daughter who, in ten years time, would most likely consider dating already. I believe he was vehemently against that idea, ergo I proposed an application process for her future suitors. I don’t have kids (yet) but I know for sure how guarded a father is to her daughter especially military dads. And because 10 years can go by quickly, B can start emotionally preparing until the dreaded day his daughter starts bringing home boys. Or he can also clean his ammo until then.

Given she doesn't grow up like me who dated behind my parents’ back, I think this application form says it all.

~o~o~

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ___________ GPA____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No

If No, explain: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring? __Yes __No

G. Pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __No

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? _________________________________________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________

Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

__________________ &; ______________________

Mother's Signature & Father's Signature

_________________________________________________________

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back).

A lot of men think that women are confusing. Being born from a woman, raised by a woman, and disciplined by a woman you would think that majority of the opposite sex would have even a slight inkling of the Venusian language and ways. But of course they don’t.

This list is NOT a list of universal truths about all women. It’s a list of universal truths about me. And this list is not complete. And I don’t plan to complete it. Hopefully, when you’re done reading you have a better understanding of the D language and ways.

1. I mean what I say, especially how I feel towards you.

2. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

3. I’m terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

4. I get turned on simply by seeing you go online and get a message from you.

5. I expect you to call me. Not all the time, of course. But don’t only just text me.

6. Only rockstars are allowed to wear leather pants and women to wear skinny jeans.

7. I’m scared of losing my independence.

8. I’m much more forgiving of you than I really should be.

9. Mind blowing oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. So is a nice girlie bag.

10. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I’m not. (see above)

11. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

12. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

13. I’m not impressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

14. I’m in heaven when you hold my hand.

15. And you turn me to putty when touch my face softly.

16. You're sexy when you're laughing, shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

17. I never get tired of hearing how you feel about me, no matter how often you say it.

18. Surprise gifts especially for me = loving

19. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

20. And when you constantly take me forgranted I will starting looking...

21. I like how candid you are answering my questions.

22. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

23. I love it when you're sweaty.

24. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

25. I expect you to always greet me with kisses.

26. If I buy you something and you don’t like it, tell me so I have a better knowledge of your preference.

27. But I would prefer you just hug me, touch me, and tell me how much you can’t live without me.

28. I don't only expect great sex from you, I also expect great conversations with you.

29. When I tell you something I am not happy about within our relationship, I expect that you will listen and find a solution with me.

30. When you ask me things about me, it makes me feel valued. Even if I feel a bit wary that you are getting too close to hurt me.

31. I won’t make a mess in your place. I expect you not to at my place. If you do, clean up your own mess.

32. If/when we have a joint bank account, I expect transparency between our expenses and financial goals. After all, it takes me and you to make it a joint account.

33. Your clear view of a future with me endears you to me more.

34. I start getting bored with you when you stop wooing me.

35. If I happen to be fresh off a girls’ night out liquored up and ready for sex, which you’re refusing, tread extra carefully.

36. When you screw up, you expect me to tell it to you - once. So do I when I screw up.

37. I get overly sensitive and irritable a couple of days before my girl thing. I would appreciate it if you would be extra patient.

38. I don’t like wearing a lot of make-up or baring clothes. Get used to it.

39. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public.

40. Make me laugh and I’d want to hang around.

41. I appreciate that you want to “help” by solving my problems. But I can solve most of my problems, thank you very much.

42. I expect you to eat what I cook. If you don’t like it, don’t tell me while we’re at the table.

43. When I cry, don’t water it down. If you can’t deal with it, then tell me straight out.

44. Know how, when, and where when you want to tell me what to do.

45. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys me popcorn when we're just going to the movies.

46. Don’t even start imagining a future with me if you lie.

47. Even if you are lying to make me feel good.

48. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

49. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

50. I remember everything about our relationship.

51. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

If there is anything you can count on me, that’ll be delayed reaction. For some strange reason my brain works that way. It’s a bit on the slow side. Perhaps it’s the innumerable times I’ve been told mean things that my brain has some sort of forcefield that keeps me from truly understanding and feeling what’s being wrongfully done or said to me.

Take for instance Kuya Bogie and Ate Sheena at work (both aliases, of course). Seven days ago, Kuya Bogie came up to me twenty minutes before my shift ended and asked me if he can talk to me. The moment I looked at his face I knew already that that “talk” will involve a.) some fuck up I had no idea was wrong, b.) an incident that may have happened long ago but they only decided to punish you for, and c.) signing a piece of paper they’ve already prepared even though they haven’t heard your side yet. “Here we go again” was the first thing that came in my mind as soon as we started walking to the office. As he closed the door I reminded myself that with these people, there is no other option but acknowledge it and sign the damn piece of paper if there is one. No amount of reason will dissuade them of their perspective anyway. And that’s how it goes when you work for the Von Trapp family.

Kuya Bogie and Ate Sheena started nice and polite asking why I felt I needed to do what I did eight days prior me standing in that office. As my mouth started verbalizing that it was not about “feelings” but about the fact that I am compelled by a direct instruction from a supervisor, my eyes quickly looked down on a piece of paper they had placed on the table between them. The moment I saw that paper, I wanted to tell them both not to bother with the “due process”, just hand me the piece of paper and I’ll sign it. What is the point anyway of the discussion, besides I have work to get back to anyway. But duty and the seriously twisted reality of being professional despite being screwed made me answer their inquiries, nod at the right instances, apologize at the appropriate time, smile somewhat after the discussion, read over the document, affix my signature and hand it back to them. As I walked out and resumed my duties, I felt such an unbearable heaviness and weariness that I clocked out as soon as the bundy showed 12.

Two days after that incident, I realized how they badly screwed me and how badly working for this family has screwed me that I felt pissed.

The day after being written up, Kuya Bogie calls asks me to go with him to the office. I wanted to jokingly ask if he’s got me written up again because I’ll just sign it but I refrained so knowing he’s quite sensitive. He asks me to go out with him from the operations area and sit at a table. He opens up the discussion by telling me I’m getting my annual review that moment. Annual review?!? I had to stop myself from laughing like a lunatic. I started working there October 24, 2008 and has it not dawned to him that he is two and a half months late and it’s only appropriate that he apologize for that? Well, let’s get it on then. So he goes on and on and on and on about my review asking some questions here and there but not really listening to my reply as he would often look to see if the operations on the other side is running smoothly. Then he tells me, “If I or (insert store owner’s name here) gives you an instruction, I would rather you don’t ask but just do it”. Of course I wanted to say, “Excuse me, but don’t you think I have the right to question your instruction if it is vague or based on our day to day operation I think is not do-able?” but then if I say that... well... that would totally contradict what he just told me. I kinda knew deep inside that he’s screwing me again, but being all screwed up anyway I resigned myself to the fact that since there are only nine months left in my contract I’ll just go with the flow and avoid stirring up any rife between us.

Finally on my rest day, the emotions I should’ve felt on those two days hit me hard that I had started writing my resignation letter. If the promise I gave my two parents didn't resurface in my brain, I would probably be on a one way flight by now to the Philippines. Maybe it's a good thing, not being able to say immediately what you want or should say. If I were able to, I'd long been fired from work or lynched by this blood thirsty family.

Anyway, I'm back to my slow pace and giggles. My apologies if I bitch fit today. Well, it’s Monday after all. And I’m a bit slow in the head at times.

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." ~ From the movie Annie

There has been a lingering sadness that I've been feeling lately. Don't worry, it's not my old depression resurfacing neither is it the rumblings of an imminent one. I don't know if it's true that "distance makes the heart grow fonder" but I know that distance makes my heart a tad bit lonesome.

For the most part, I'm happy. Very happy actually loving someone that takes my breath away and who loves me infinitely more than I deserve. And for a bigger part, I'm joyful. Very joyful indeed. I'm joyful for being blessed with what most people dream of and few ever find. True love that last seasons. Honest love without mind games and wicked ulterior motives. Compassionate love that understands each others' quirks, flaws, and eccentricities. Giving love that does not mind self-sacrifice.

Call me ungrateful for feeling sad. I can't help myself. Not right now, anyway. Especially not right now when Brad Paisley is crooning "Now you’re my whole life, now you’re my whole world. I just can't believe the way I feel about you girl." Maybe its the monthly girlie thing coming soon. Maybe it's because of that sappy country song. Or maybe, just maybe, it's my desire to start building a life together with this someone I love.

I get mixed emotions when I think about that "life". I feel fear, excitement, doubt, wonder, and most of all, I feel longing. From deep inside of I don't know where in me is an outpouring of desire to live the days when he and I will not be restricted by such great distance, and he will come home to our house and sleep in our bed, God-willingly have his last name next to mine, and I will start a lifetime of adventures with us at each others' side. And because of our geographic differences it makes everything I yearn for such a long time coming that it's making me sad.

But as I try to type my sadness now I remember the countless times people have hurt me in the past, the many million times I’ve broken my heart and trust, the untold longing of my heart to find that one true person who would take me as I am and that I can share life’s pain and pleasures with. I remember the wonder if such a person ever existed. And the faith I held on to that belief. The hope that one day I’ll meet him. And the patience that tied them all together. And now that that someone is finally in my life, I know that I have the patience to wait until that day when we will be together and be inseparable. After all these years of holding on until he finally comes around, I can wait because he is worth waiting for.

Tomorrow when I wake up i'll still be laughing and smiling. But until the day comes that I'll be by his side, there will always be that unsatisfied need within me to be with him. And even when I'm with him, that need will always be there but at least that time won't definitely feel sad like how it is now. In the meantime, I'll switch to some rock music so Brad won't make me shed a tear. Or maybe watch a bit of Fringe to give me some heebie jeebies.

My hands are in pain lately. I think it's gripping a pen more often these past few days than I've ever done in the past eight years which makes my hand feel somewhat sore. After getting used to typing words rather than penning them, writing with pen is something to get used to again.

I know it's inconvenient to write than type. I know that the pain I feel akin to carpal tunnel makes writing tiring. But the inconvenience and pain of writing fades to nothing once I’ve finished it. And knowing that the person who will read it will be smiling once he gets it is well worth the effort. Maybe I am a bit of a masochist. No, I take that back. I am a masochist, especially to people I care deeply about. Pain is nothing when you weigh it against their joy.

At this age of time when calling someone on the phone or sending an SMS is the convenient way of communicating and writing emails is the fastest way to get your message across, writing letters seem like a daunting task. It’s funny how when I was contemplating on writing a letter it made me somewhat wary. I mean... what more can you say when you talk to someone everyday? What words are worth so much effort that you would want to put in a piece of paper, seal it with an envelope, lick a stamp and go out of your way to drop in the post office? I felt somewhat perturbed to find the words to put on a piece of paper that will last close to forever.

When one’s goal is to give happiness to another, the what and the how is no longer unimaginable. As I got a myself a nice looking paper and a decent pen it was quite easy for my heart to open up and the words started forming in my head and sooner than I thought I was finished. I read it once and put it in the envelope and went to the post office to drop it off hoping the letter will get to the one I wrote it for. Because even if that letter won’t be treasured forever, at least at the time that person will get it I am certain a smile will form on his face and he will feel that he is loved.

So for the next coming weeks I will have to suffer a bit more of pain in my right hand. That is, until my hand gets used to writing letters again. I need to stock up on paper and pens to just to be able to write as soon as I want to. But for sure, I won’t be licking stamps anymore because I just found out that they actual stick on their own now.

Perhaps love is like a resting place

A shelter from the storm

It exists to give you comfort

It is there to keep you warm

And in those times of trouble

When you are most alone

The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window

Perhaps an open door

It invites you to come closer

It wants to show you more

And even if you lose yourself

And don’t know what to do

The memory of love will see you through

Oh, Love to some is like a cloud

To some as strong as steel

For some a way of living

For some a way to feel

And some say love is holding on

And some say letting go

And some say love is everything

And some say they don’t know

Perhaps love is like the ocean

Full of conflict, full of pain

Like a fire when it’s cold outside

Thunder when it rains

If I should live forever

And all my dreams come true

My memories of love will be with you

Wasn’t it just recently when I posted a blog about me never doing new year’s resolutions? Really when you get to my age it seems like time is very fleeting. A part of me just wants to hold onto particular moments of 2009 and wish there is Rewind button besides a Pause.

I think last year went by too fast and too intensely. Not all parts of it were fun, especially at work and some on my personal life. A few were actually quite distasteful and swear never to do again. But overall I think I learned from most of it, if not entertained me the least.

Since there is no other buttons in life but Play and Stop, its quite inevitable but to let it keep on rollin’. I can’t mostly choose the scenes that will unfold in the next three hundred sixty-one days but I could at least enjoy them. And have faith that things will turn out well for me.

Oh, and here’s to my third year in writing on this blog. So cheers, let’s make this a great year : )