There'll be spring every year without you

England still will be here without you

There'll be fruit on the tree

And a shore by the sea

There'll be crumpets and tea without you

Art and music will thrive without you

Somehow Keats will survive without you

And there still will be rain

On that plain down in Spain

Even that will remain without you

l can do...

...without you

You, dear friend, who talk so well

You can go to

Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire

They can still rule the land without you

Windsor Castle will stand without you

And without much ado

We can all muddle through

Without you!

Without your pulling it the tide comes in

Without your twirling it the earth can spin

Without your pushing them the clouds roll by

lf they can do without you, Ducky, so can I.

l shall not feel alone without you

l can stand on my own without you

So go back in your shell

I can do bloody well...

...without you

Why are men confusing?

I can’t seem to figure out if a guy likes me or he likes me-likes me.

And then no matter how short the contact, I get entangled in strings.

After I’m stringed I get snipped to pieces and left to go figure out the puzzle.

Which sucks. Because I end up confused and vulnerable. Maybe in pain.

Especially when it ends like another tragic Shakespeare play.

It comes easy on me, making lists. Over the years I’ve developed a habit of bringing a small notebook and making a list. Don’t assume that I have OCD. The only OCD-ness in me is my obsessive compulsiveness to make a mess in my room other than that I’m pretty much normal with bursts of spontaneity and randomness. Now if you say I have ADHD then I would agree. I get easily distracted and lose focus which has been on going since I was young. I get easily sidetracked (if not bored) thus my need to make a list of things I need to buy, I need to do, I need to get, I need to accomplish lest I would continuously switch from one activity to another and act without regard for consequences (which has happened numerous times in the past).

Since I got myself the iPhone, I’ve stopped bringing my notebook and started making my lists in Notes. Although practical I find Note writing quite distracting each time my fingers press the wrong letter and I have to press the ⌫. Using Notes for sometime made me realize that by writing on a notebook it exercises my mind to focus on each letter and word that I jot down. While writing on a teensy keyboard of my iPhone even on landscape mode tends to jar my concentration whenever I make a mistake. I’ve decided to stick with it though. It challenges me to pay attention to what I am doing as I pick each letter of the word my mind forms.

It’s no secret that I’ve just turned 30. Prior to turning 30 I have been quite worried that things would be radically different in my life and I’d be unprepared. But at the same time I’ve also been bothered by the thought that I’m taking my life forgranted and the things that I want to experience will never happen because I’d die unexpectedly. Though unreliable, I found myself using an online calculator to compute my life expectancy and quite surprised that it computed that I will live until 89. My pessimism ruled over and I decided to subtract 30 years from that. So for me I have 29 more years to run after, experience, revel, and cherish the things I want to do, go to places I want to see, love the people I want to.

Twenty nine years. That seems so much time. But that doesn’t seem so much as well. So now I’ve decided to make a list. The places, the food, the things, the activities, the games, the sports, the goals I want to do and accomplish with twenty-nine years. I’m sure that my list will not come near adult-y or responsible. And while the list may contain the fun things, I want to be able to accomplish things that will give meaning to my life and others as well if possible. It will contain what I truly want and I want it to be mostly attainable, realistic and time specific ergo the need to include how I will accomplish it.

Thinking about the morbidity of it, it’s like scheduling one’s death sentence in the not so distant future and trying to have the best last supper every night until it finally happens. Someone said that we must cherish our life not by every breathes we take but by every moment that take our breath away. I want those moments. I don’t want expect or hope for a longer life. I want this life and I want to be able to look back and say to myself, I chose to live life ... to the fullest extent of it.