Dear Miss Know It All,

I haven’t written a post for so long. Too long. And it’s not that I have gotten old and crusty with my writing, it’s just that the things are in my head I would much rather share with my boyfriend rather than have an anonymous (and sometimes known) person read what is pickling in my brain. So I have placed writing aside and spent my times talking to him and living life. But after asking him last night some time off to think about our relationship frayed by so many fights lately, I have nothing now but time in my hands. And you have incited me with words you have written and so I arm myself with my laptop and words you need to hear.

It is not my habit to talk back to people who piss me off. And when I write “people” I mean people who do not know me or who I do not wish to know. It’s much more easier to ignore these kinds and just move forward. See the dilemma here is my boyfriend knows you and considers you as a friend. As such is the case I would have to give that some credit even though you don’t know me and I don’t know you. As since you have voiced an opinion on a situation you have no knowledge of whatsoever and you have easily dispense advice against a person you have never met or talked to personally, I have taken a defensive side and protect myself and the one I love the most from critical people like you.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a 31 year old Filipina woman raised by God fearing parents. I was raised with three core values: Courage, Integrity, and Loyalty. Although these words may mean nothing to some people, for me that is my identity and that is a way of life. These values have been forged by years of life experiences and the example from my parents’ life. In a society where grays are more acceptable than black and white, I am constantly tested to live life overcoming fears of acceptance, staying truthful, and standing by the ones I love.

Having stated those things, I do not know if you will believe that. Neither do I care if you do. Again, I don’t know you, you don’t know me. And the one thing that may have bound me from you, which is my boyfriend, has thought our relationship is over giving me no reason to hold back when I say this:

SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU TALK TOO MUCH.

You have easily speculated that there is someone else in my life and that I have an interest elsewhere which is why I asked for some time off. Really. And you know this because...? Oh right, you’ve never met me. The only time I came across you was when I saw a picture of  B grabbing a fat woman’s ass and asked him about it..  B has only talked about me to his colleagues but you and I are not even Facebook friends. You tell my boyfriend he “deserves an honest woman straight forward and is gonna understand you all around”. You’re damn right he does! He deserves not just an honest woman, he deserves all the great and wonderful things in the world. Things I have been giving and plan to continue giving for the rest of my life. Things no other woman can ever give him. And maybe, if you ever took the time to ask people who knew me or a little about me. You wouldn’t be saying all the bullshit that you have said. Because you see, he’s the only one for me.

I have been told and mostly accused that I am a strong woman. A hard woman to deal with because compromise is not my greatest strength and the core values my parents have instilled on me is so steadfast that being swayed or influenced to do something I do not think right causes discord. They call me straight as an arrow and say it like it is some disgusting thing. Little do they know that when I fight with the ones I love because I have difficulty and I am slow to compromise it makes me feel like a failure. Not because I compromised but because fighting with them drains me emotionally. Because I love them, I want to give them the best of me. And anytime I don’t it drives me insane.

I know I am loved by  B. I love him too. I know that despite what he may think, I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I know that all relationships suffer some setbacks. The last thing I want is to bring down the one I love with all I am. And I know that to ask that we do not fight is not possible. But I know that if I took some time off, a lot of things will fall into perspective and things that we used to whine and nag and feel insecure and make a big deal of will fade. We will laugh at how immature we had been and move together as a team.

Do you think it is easy for me? Do you think that it is so easy to go out there looking for a better man than  B when I have found the best man for me? Do you think that I walk around all confident looking for a date when the man I love is so far away hurting and that what I asked for is the reason he is hurting? Do you think I am not frustrated that he has given me no option but to break up with him because for   B there is no such thing as “time off in a relationship”? I know you think me as a slutty woman who’s just one of the girls he’s had before who just broke his heart and trust. And what you think is something I don’t care for. It doesn’t matter. He’s the only one that mattered. And you are just some fugly woman who thinks you know it all.

But thank you. Your baseless conjecture has woken the sleeping blogger in me. I hope we do not meet. If we do, don’t smile and pretend that you’re nice bitch. Just shut your mouth because you’ve said one too many lies.

~D