surreal

Every one I know has been asking if I’m excited. I nod my head and give a smile and say yes. But to say I’m excited is actually lying because the truth is I haven’t wrapped my head around it yet.  My mind has bursts of fast paced moments (when I am anxious) and then there’s mostly the slow languid thoughts that take me a few hours or days to have the gravity of events sink in.  Up to today, it feels like I am just going for an extended vacation. 

Yet, when I really think hard and something clicks in my head that I am being with  B for good then I start feeling  unexplained glee. Like having a really really good secret and you’re the only one who knows what it is. Everything else feels surreal. 

I have anticipated this day since the day I met him. Every fiber of my being has been screaming to be close to him since the day I realized I love him. And now it is here. I am just minutes away. Yes, you must understand that unexplainable glee I feel and why it feels surreal. Because there is no words to contain the emotions I feel.