breaking sweat

It’s not what you think. And it’s definitely not what I want it to be.

Let’s just say that today is officially the day that I am happy that I am in this country. It’s been what... four months since I arrived and it has been such a depressing time with winter and all. Having seen and experience snow was awesome, the first time. When it snows everyday and it’s cold everyday the cold and barrenness of my surroundings weighs down on my soul. Having no Zs makes it, at times, unbearable I want to kill myself. 

I used to think that I hold no ties in the Philippines (Tanduay Girl and her family is an exception) but today made me realize that I have a peculiar attachment to my country which is the warmness of my surroundings. Strange. I do not know why I was elated today when I was able to go out without gloves, wear my boots and just a Columbia jacket. I didn’t realize how much I miss wearing tank tops and shorts outside until I opened the door and took a walk out as the sun beat down the snow covered roofs. As my boots stepped on asphalt and not snow and my eyes swept across the street without any spec of snow or ice I was euphoric. This may seem farcical (I find it absurd myself) but heck! The sun is here. I want it to stay. Because for some strange reason it took me out of my depression.