A lot of men think that women are confusing. Being born from a woman, raised by a woman, and disciplined by a woman you would think that majority of the opposite sex would have even a slight inkling of the Venusian language and ways. But of course they don’t.
This list is NOT a list of universal truths about all women. It’s a list of universal truths about me. And this list is not complete. And I don’t plan to complete it. Hopefully, when you’re done reading you have a better understanding of the D language and ways.
1. I mean what I say, especially how I feel towards you.
2. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
3. I’m terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
4. I get turned on simply by seeing you go online and get a message from you.
5. I expect you to call me. Not all the time, of course. But don’t only just text me.
6. Only rockstars are allowed to wear leather pants and women to wear skinny jeans.
7. I’m scared of losing my independence.
8. I’m much more forgiving of you than I really should be.
9. Mind blowing oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. So is a nice girlie bag.
10. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I’m not. (see above)
11. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
12. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
13. I’m not impressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
14. I’m in heaven when you hold my hand.
15. And you turn me to putty when touch my face softly.
16. You're sexy when you're laughing, shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
17. I never get tired of hearing how you feel about me, no matter how often you say it.
18. Surprise gifts especially for me = loving
19. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.
20. And when you constantly take me forgranted I will starting looking...
21. I like how candid you are answering my questions.
22. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
23. I love it when you're sweaty.
24. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
25. I expect you to always greet me with kisses.
26. If I buy you something and you don’t like it, tell me so I have a better knowledge of your preference.
27. But I would prefer you just hug me, touch me, and tell me how much you can’t live without me.
28. I don't only expect great sex from you, I also expect great conversations with you.
29. When I tell you something I am not happy about within our relationship, I expect that you will listen and find a solution with me.
30. When you ask me things about me, it makes me feel valued. Even if I feel a bit wary that you are getting too close to hurt me.
31. I won’t make a mess in your place. I expect you not to at my place. If you do, clean up your own mess.
32. If/when we have a joint bank account, I expect transparency between our expenses and financial goals. After all, it takes me and you to make it a joint account.
33. Your clear view of a future with me endears you to me more.
34. I start getting bored with you when you stop wooing me.
35. If I happen to be fresh off a girls’ night out liquored up and ready for sex, which you’re refusing, tread extra carefully.
36. When you screw up, you expect me to tell it to you - once. So do I when I screw up.
37. I get overly sensitive and irritable a couple of days before my girl thing. I would appreciate it if you would be extra patient.
38. I don’t like wearing a lot of make-up or baring clothes. Get used to it.
39. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public.
40. Make me laugh and I’d want to hang around.
41. I appreciate that you want to “help” by solving my problems. But I can solve most of my problems, thank you very much.
42. I expect you to eat what I cook. If you don’t like it, don’t tell me while we’re at the table.
43. When I cry, don’t water it down. If you can’t deal with it, then tell me straight out.
44. Know how, when, and where when you want to tell me what to do.
45. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys me popcorn when we're just going to the movies.
46. Don’t even start imagining a future with me if you lie.
47. Even if you are lying to make me feel good.
48. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
49. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
50. I remember everything about our relationship.
51. You should know all this and more without my telling you.
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