When I was about five my mom grew exasperated with Tanduay Girl and exclaimed, "You are so tactless!!!" Both of us had no idea what this word "tactless" is and knowing better than to ask our mother we pulled out the L-Z of our fat Reader's Digest dictionary and search slowly under "T" until we found the word...
Adjective: tactless
|takt‑lus|
Lacking or showing a lack of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others • in the circumstances it was tactless to ask her age
= untactful
≈ inconsiderate, inelegant
Revealing lack of perceptiveness, judgment or finesse • it was tactless to bring up those disagreeable
= inept
≈ maladroit
Tanduay Girl wrote down the definition in a piece of bond paper and posted it on her side of the wall and that is the only reason why up to this day I am acquainted with that word.
Despite my familiarity of the word "tactless" I find myself suffering from serious bout of verbal diarrhea. I have been noticing that I have been having my foot in my mouth more often than usual calling even one of my friends indirectly fat. I didn't mean to and even apologized after but I think I seriously cracked her sensitive ego and no amount of apology would make it right. I will always be the person who called her fat.
But that isn't as serious as my tactless behavior to B where I unwittingly said mean and hurtful things. Feeling shame and shocked for my behavior after he pointed out my lack of sensitivity to his feelings is an understatement. Sure I didn't mean to hurt him, sure I had no intention of being mean but nevertheless I did.
Over the years learned to look beyond people's labels and name calling and accusations. While learning to be deaf I also became callous to the words I myself use to others. I can defend myself and argue that most words are hidden in the recesses of my mind never heard by the other person but I know this is lame. The innumerable times I had never vocalized my thoughts pales to the countable times I did and ended up saying things so cuttingly that no apology will fix it.
I wish I can say I learned from experience but knowing my self a little better I sadly confess I will have outbursts of my bitchiness and tear people's egos, cut people's hearts, and hurt people's feelings.
But I'll give my best to leaves smiles in their faces than tears and ill feelings. After it would be quite ironic if I didn't given the name I have.
0 tried to make D happier:
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