perils in my chair

I seriously think I deserve one. It’s not easy being in my position. Because they know I can pull rabbits out of hats (a knack I learned from my former fallen angel for a boss) they tend to dump much work on me. The hardest of which is to hire people.

So [S], our Production Manager, sends a message 3 weeks ago about an enticing position of Telephone Researchers. Pay ain’t bad too, if you’ll convert it to pesos, at $500 - $800 a month you’d think people inside would clamor for the position. But since it’s a job that would require someone to be on the phone when it is daytime in the US, simple logic will reveal that it’s like working in a call center except you do out bound calls and you ain’t selling. Majority of people who work here do not like evening shift, besides lack of food options, these guys actually worked in call centers before they applied here. They hated call centers that’s why they moved here. Out of the many candidates and many people they tried to woo the position to, only one person accepted it.

It was no surprise when [S] sent a message to the gregarious, voluptuous, witty, ...okay, okay! She sent me a message telling me that we need 5 people immediately. So last week we published an ad in one of the local online job search engines. Just 2 hours after we published it, I had to sift through 37 application forms already! Part of the price. Sure.

Now Mr. Lonc (the Owner of Bamm Bamm Incorporated) is not happy with the little Web Designer we got, can’t blame since the guy doesn’t know how to code in PHP or hard code in Flash. So he tasks me to find a senior Web Designer. Mind you his criteria for judging is hard to pass --- you gotta be a designer and developer at the same time, know PHP, CSS2, Flash and active scripting PLUS s/he needs to understand the psychology behind web site design. Where in the mighty name of Java will I find one here in the Philippines!?!

Now, I can still carry these things. It’s fine. Except when I started interviewing for the Telephone Researcher today...

... the first guy assaulted my nose with his funky smell.

... the second one, a girl, made my eyebrow rise when she said she doesn’t know anything about our company but wanted to to work in Bamm Bamm because of the relax environment

... the third girl came in while she had a fever. I know life is hard now, but I don’t want to share what she’s got.

... the fourth girl shocked my socks off with her halitosis.

... the fifth was so late and made my ears bleed with in her poor English. Yeah, she was perky but she doesn’t even know what “composition” means.

Sigh. Lately, my duties as a Hiring Manager is causing me extreme discomfort and distress. Now are the moments I wish I worked in a normal company and get health insurance or at least hazard pay. But what the heck, tomorrow I have eight interviews lined up... and the day after that... and the day after that... and the day after that...