fin

The Colonel is now The Retired Colonel. He finally ended his service last August 15. Unlike most of his mistahs who are Generals he ended his long career as a Colonel. No bands, no speeches from the Director of the Philippine National Police or the President of the Philippines. His birthday crept in slowly as he was speaking in front of a congregation sharing to them the Jesus film they are giving away to each police officer in the service. And then that was it. The end of his 35 year of service.

Like most of us, he had a thankless job. Only a handful of people have any respect left for the police. I can’t blame them. But I feel for The Colonel too. After he became a Bible-bearing police on December 25, 1990 his superiors mocked him, the president bullied, him and his classmates found him weak. No one wanted to promote him. No one wanted to give him a “real” job. He tried to be a catalyst of change in the midst of corruption, lies, and imperialistic forces and all he got was a handful of pastors who asked for money, subordinates who back-stabbed, bosses who jeered every time he would talk about the Gospel.

All the years that he had been harshly and unfairly treated I never saw him give the finger to the government. I would only see him smile politely even if he assigned the stupidest jobs, I would hear him ask us to pray for his bosses and him, I would hear him pray “Thy will be done.” I am not religious. I may not follow anything he says. But deep in my hear I know that he is right. Deep inside what I see them do to him cut me up and make me bleed. 

Now that the curtains have fallen in his career, maybe he is happy. Maybe now he will feel useful. The least I hope he feels relieved. I know I’ve written so many of his bad sides. I fervently hope he does not feel a lesser man.

He has moved to Arizona without any immediate plans of coming back. It’s just me and Tanduay Girl now here in the country. I called her yesterday to catch up on some family gossips. And as we laughed and teased each other, I realized it may take years for us to see each other again especially when I move to Canada.  That was when swells of loneliness and abandonment hit me over an over that no amount of Z’s could stop it. After all these years of being away from him, it hit me hard how far apart The Colonel and I are.