I meant to blog. I have four different topics all drafted in my iPhone but I can’t seem to finish it. I point my finger disapprovingly at my ADHD but the truth is not about me getting easily distracted, it’s me not knowing how to end it. Despite my lack of creative prose I have an eye for aesthetics. I love beautiful people, beautiful objects, beautiful places, beautiful music, beautiful anything. And for me beauty is not about perfection but the ability of a person, place, thing, event, composition to withstand time and season. Classic. Timeless. And so for me to type words just for me to finish a post is unacceptable. I can’t even bring myself to publish something I will not enjoy reading over and over much more reading it once. I ask myself why would I write words unworthy of my or other people’s time.
I do not dream to be a Pulitzer winner. But I dream of being able to write my thoughts coherently and despite other people not agreeing to it people will understand. I do not dream to be an accomplished writer signing autographs. But I dream of being able to grow in mind and my writing will reflect it. I do not dream of convincing people of what is right and wrong. But I dream of being able to stand by my conviction of right and have the courage to fight for it.
And so the four drafts sleep patiently in my iPhone. Maybe I’ll be able to finish it and publish it. Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll write a whole different thing. One thing is certain though, I will write something worthwhile again. Something classic. Something timeless. Something I’ll stand for up to the last period.
Ginang | October 11, 2009 at 9:59 PM
i'm like that. in school... i never cheated on exams... because i'm too proud to just come up with things that aren't mine. and most of my papers were late... because i'd tear pages up unless they were exactly how i liked them. but hey, i always got an A (with marks docked per day late... so a B?)