for better and for worse

Three hundred sixty-five days ago I was frolicking in Boracay gunning Bacardi 151 and margaritas. 

Instead of white sand and shot glasses I am surrounded by snow and 6% liquor. 

Nothing is the same and yet everything is the same. 

I am still pensive and often trapped in my thoughts only I am in a different place and time.

I am still loving the same person only I am more careful and not hopeful anymore.

I am still prudent around the people around me but want to start new relationships also.

I am still wary of children however they are drawn to me and want to touch my face.

I am still insecure of my flaws yet I am growing confident as I age.

I don’t really know how things will be from now. I have given up fighting things and have decided I will choose to enjoy life to the fullest in a way that it won’t harm me or hurt others. Maybe I will get what my heart longs for. Maybe I'd have better luck in love and work. But I know it's not just up to fate. I have to be wiser to listen to my heart. I have to be trusting to listen to my God.