the list is getting longer

Some time ago I met T who’s fun, witty, and cocky (whatever!). 

Now T and I are completely different. He’s vegan and I loved eating everything. He's at Austin and I was in the Philippines. He's into gambling and I won't even touch a dice. He wanted to be a gigolo, I was done playing games and wanted a substantial relationship (marriage? maybe... not really sure). I’m sure you get the picture.

But despite the warning bells in my head, we hit it off pretty well. His green eyes and a charming smile got me spellbound.

Of course he ended up hurting me. But then even if had hurt me me before we continued to chat and flirt. He is just to fun to pass up. A month ago he proposed to visit me here. Now my previous experiences have made me afraid of him already. Despite my fears I continued to argue with myself and defend him from the part of me that wants me not to see him. Being a trooper, I said okay and he set a date of February 13. Oh wow, a day before Valentine’s Day.  

Now that I’m all looking forward to seeing him he tells me that he is now looking for a substantial relationship. He does not want to be a player anymore. All the time he was saying these things about having changed my mind went on RedAlert. I knew what he would be saying would not be something I would like to rehash over and over but my mind would anyway after like stupid HBO reruns. Then he hits me hard with lines like “if I find somebody here between now and February I won’t be able to see you in February”. Excuse me?!? 

The only words that formed in my head was “I’m not your toy you just play with when you don’t have new toys or friends to spend time with.” But I could not bring myself to say that. Instead I ended up crying like I use to whenever someone hurts me much (I’m a WUSS!). Good thing iChat had an error that saved me from having to hang up or worse ---- being hanged up on!

So now I have to forget what he said. Which is not really possible because I’m too pissed to forget. But being pissed with him would make it easier to walk away and burn bridges. 

Sigh.

Another guy to put on my hate list.