say that again

I had been going over applications. Going through thousands of résumés is really time consuming but what cracks me up about this task are the things I get to read. Some of them may brighten up my day while a few makes me burst into laughter or makes me totally peeved (depending on my sugar level).

When applying for a job these are the things you may NOT want to write on your Summary of Qualifications:
"Typing Skill - 49 words per minute." - This is discouraged especially if the company you are applying for has a typing test.
"My greatest skill is i am keen to details, computer literate, very logical and analytical person." - If you claim to be keen on details then you must ensure that your "I" are in upper case.
"well, i am armed with sterling work ethics and had obtained 21 units in MBA. In this, i think, I could propel and fire up to handle the position as a researcher." - Unless you're applying as an assassin this would appear exaggerated. And hello, what do you mean by "I could propel and fire up"?!?!
"good eye-to-hand coordination" - Don't throw words around unless you know what it means. It's hand-eye coordination, sweetie. If you ain't sure then look it up and you better know what it means in case it's brought up by your interviewer.
"Above average English. I like working with computer specially when it come to customer oriented.." - Uhmmm...This got me grinning.
"Im a computer skill 40 to 50 words per minute." - It's not just the speed but the accuracy. If you gotta brag make sure you got something to back it up.
"INTERESTED IN THE POSITION." - One, there's no need to shout. Two, we know you are interested otherwise why apply. And third, can you at least follow the instruction by making a list of your qualification.
"My left brain is well-developed." -Seriously!?!

Because of the internet, online application makes applying for a job convenient. But it can be tricky. You wonder if real people read the stuff you put there. Let me assure you that there are people who read online applications and one of them happen to me. I hate to discriminate, I like the sense of humor but I'd rather applicants make sense. It makes my job easier and applicants are hired faster.